Choosing to Love

While this is a slight divergence from my normal topics, it is still health related as stress is the number one cause of inflammation and relationship stress is a big deal. Having now been married 20.5 years, I have often given the marriage advice that love is a choice.  You aren’t always going to like the person you are married to, though it helps, but (barring abuse) staying married is all about choices.   But here is the thing, while it is true that love is a choice, especially after the hormones and pheromones fade a bit and life happens, it is important to make the distinction about what choosing love actually means.  I am NOT choosing to love you because you mostly suck but I can magnanimously handle it, making me the hero of this scenario.  (Though I really DO like to be the hero of my life.) (By the way, choosing love doesn’t happen only in a marriage/partnership situation.  It happens in friendship, in family, even with your own children.) Choosing love is actually about humility.  I choose to see the inherent good in you.  I choose to see your value. I choose to remember the things that […]